How do you persuade a hoarder to accept help?
Hoarding is a complex issue that affects not just individuals but their families and communities. This article draws on over 25 years of experience in the hoarding cleanup industry to provide practical advice on how to approach hoarders with empathy, initiate positive conversations, and ensure ongoing support for lasting change.
Highlights
- Learn how to approach hoarders with understanding and compassion, fostering a supportive environment for discussion.
- Discover effective methods for initiating conversations about decluttering, including specific, manageable steps to ease the process.
- Understand the necessity of consistent follow-up and professional help to maintain progress and ensure long-term success.
What is hoarding?
Hoarding is a deeply complex issue that goes beyond clutter—it’s an emotional and psychological challenge that can disrupt lives and strain relationships. After more than 25 years in the hoarding cleanup industry, I’ve witnessed the profound impact of this disorder on individuals and their families. While helping someone with hoarding tendencies can be challenging, it’s not impossible. Here, I share my experience and advice to support those who want to make a meaningful difference in the life of a hoarder.
How to persuade a hoarder to accept help is a challenging proposition, but not impossible to achieve.
Hoarders are people who have difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value. Hoarding can cause significant distress and impairment in various aspects of life, such as health, safety, social relationships, and work performance. Hoarding can also affect the well-being of family members and friends who are concerned about the hoarder’s situation.
If you know someone who is struggling with hoarding, you may wonder how to approach them and offer your help.
Here are some tips to keep in mind when confronting a hoarder to accept help:
Empathy Over Judgment - Be respectful and empathetic.
Hoarders are people who have difficulty discarding or parting with possessions, regardless of their actual value. Hoarding can cause significant distress and impairment in various aspects of life, such as health, safety, social relationships, and work performance. Hoarding can also affect the well-being of family members and friends who are concerned about the hoarder’s situation.
If you know someone who is struggling with hoarding, you may wonder how to approach them and offer your help.
Here are some tips to keep in mind when confronting a hoarder to accept help:
Be specific and realistic.
Hoarders may not recognize the extent or severity of their problem, or they may deny or minimize it. They may also resist change or feel overwhelmed by the idea of decluttering. Therefore, it is helpful to be clear and concrete about what you are offering and what you expect from them. For example, you can say something like, “I noticed that you have a lot of newspapers piled up in your living room. I’m worried that they might pose a fire hazard or attract pests. Would you be willing to let me help you sort through them and recycle some of them?” Avoid making vague or unrealistic suggestions, such as “You should clean up your whole house” or “You should get rid of everything you don’t need.”
Avoid criticism or anger
- Focus on their well-being rather than the state of their home.
- Acknowledge their feelings and concerns without judgment.
For example, instead of saying, “You need to clean up this mess,” try, “I’m worried about your safety and health; how can I help?”
Start Small and Be Realistic
- Target one area, like a pile of newspapers or a specific room.
- Frame the activity around safety, such as reducing fire hazards or preventing pest issues.
This focused approach minimizes the fear of loss and builds trust.
Be supportive and patient.
Hoarders may have difficulty making decisions or letting go of their belongings. They may also experience anxiety, guilt, or grief during the process of decluttering. Therefore, it is important to be supportive and patient with them. Acknowledge their efforts and progress, no matter how small. Praise their strengths and abilities, not just their weaknesses and challenges. Encourage them to seek professional help if needed, such as therapy or counselling. Do not pressure them to do more than they are ready or willing to do.
Be consistent, and follow up.
Hoarding is a chronic and complex problem that requires ongoing attention and intervention. It is not enough to help a hoarder once and then forget about it. You need to be consistent and follow up with them regularly. Check in with them to see how they are doing and if they need any further assistance. Remind them of their goals and motivations for decluttering. Help them maintain their achievements and prevent relapse.
To persuade a hoarder to accept help, it is better to realize he or she may not accept our help, and confronting a hoarder to accept help can be challenging, but it can also be rewarding. By following these tips, you can increase the chances of having a positive and productive conversation with a hoarder and help them improve their quality of life. If you need further help, please don’t hesitate to contact 1st Hoarding Clean Up, Vancouver’s experts in decluttering services.
If a loved one you know is affected by hoarding, they are not alone. Here at 1st Hoarding Clean up, we strive to approach our clients with empathy, compassion, and discretion to help them get back on their feet. Contact us or check out our youtube channel and social medias for more information.
